Most of our activities in our lives revolve around our families. As a child we are dependent upon our parents,our siblings,as we grow our life revolves around our spouses, children and the extended family which become a part and parcel of our lives.In each stage of our lives we are introduced to various relationship which then become an integral part of our lives.
To achieve a balance in our lives and to be content and happy it is important for us to prioritise our responsibilities towards our families.The rate of divorce and break-ups in the society is increasing at an alarming rate.The discontentment and the old family values and traditions, respect for our elders, the sanctity of the institution of marriage is all in jeopardy. The reason for all this is that we lack balance in our lives. We strive to achieve happiness for our families but because we lack a direction, a concentrated focus, a focussed goal for this aspect, we somewhere fail in our aspirations and the best of our intentions fall flat and and we fail to have a happy and contended family life.
Do we ever pause to think why is our family important to us.The continuous grind of our daily lives makes us forget the importance of the pivot of our lives. All our work , all our efforts are directed towards providing happiness to our near and dear ones but since we are not able to communicate the same in our actions and deeds towards those who matter, no body is able to appreciate the same, which leads to discontentment and frustrations.We need to refocus our energies, channelise our thought process, understand the value of our family in our lives so that we are able to direct our energies towards developing healthy relationships with the people close to us.
What then is the solution, how do we then bring back the zeal and enthusiasm back in our family lives.There are no strict guidelines but these are the broad parameters which if followed will bring back happiness and contentment.
Keep aside the EGO: The other day I read a beautiful article on ego by Osho.It beautifully describes the ego and why we cling to our ego, and are afraid to let it go lest we lose our identity. But to an extent the cause of many miseries specially breakdowns in relationship is the ego wherein we are not able to get away from our own self , where we fail to look at the view points of the other people around us. To have a happy family life and to have healthy relationships with people around us we need to keep our ego aside and understand a situation from the perspective of the other person.
Learn to Communicate: Many relationships suffer discontentment because people fail to communicate their actual thoughts to the other person. Till the time we do not let the other person know what is their in our minds we cannot establish a healthy rapport with them.So even if you feel that your thoughts may be disliked by the other person, it may be better to let the other person know of the same as he may have an explanation for the same of which we may not be aware of. For example I am unhappy with my husband because he always gets home late. I appear disgruntled when he comes back home after a day of hard work hoping to have a good time with me but finds me disgruntled and is perturbed.But neither of us communicate our feelings to each other. Over a period of time this situation gets magnified and may lead to unhappy consequences. Therefore in any relationship it is important to communicate and let the other person know our minds and not keep waiting for the other person to pre-read our minds.
Learn to listen: According to me more than communicating, listening to others is an art. It requires patience.In the long run it is one of the main basis for any successful relationship.It is only when we listen to others can we see the situation from their perspective.It allows people to understand the other person better ,understand their point of view and only enriches the relationship.
Learn to appreciate: As human beings we crave for appreciation for any work that we do.However we become misers when it comes to appreciating others for the work done by them. It especially is the case when it comes to appreciating the people close to us who selflessly devote their energies and time to fulfil our requirements.How many of us take out time to say a thank you to our parents or our spouses for the immense contribution and sacrifices they make for our growth. We instead take their actions for granted and fail to appreciate the same. Appreciation of the people around us helps the relationship to thrive and strengthens the basis of our family lives and adds value to the same.
Identify with each others aspirations:The family ought to work as a team, we need to sit together and exchange each others dreams/ thoughts.Many of our problems in our relationships arise because we are only looking at what we want and do not look at the other persons dreams and aspirations. If in the family we dream together, aspire together, we will be much happier as we will be able to live life from each others perspective and respect each others thoughts. There is transparency in our relationships
To add balance in our lives it is important to keep our relationship with the people around us happy.It is important to act like a team, set goals on a daily basis and dream together and identify with the thoughts of the other person.If we have strong family ties, the worst of situations and crisis can be dealt with, without much problems for families create a support system which provides a safety cover for individuals.
Learn to Communicate: Many relationships suffer discontentment because people fail to communicate their actual thoughts to the other person. Till the time we do not let the other person know what is their in our minds we cannot establish a healthy rapport with them.So even if you feel that your thoughts may be disliked by the other person, it may be better to let the other person know of the same as he may have an explanation for the same of which we may not be aware of. For example I am unhappy with my husband because he always gets home late. I appear disgruntled when he comes back home after a day of hard work hoping to have a good time with me but finds me disgruntled and is perturbed.But neither of us communicate our feelings to each other. Over a period of time this situation gets magnified and may lead to unhappy consequences. Therefore in any relationship it is important to communicate and let the other person know our minds and not keep waiting for the other person to pre-read our minds.
Learn to listen: According to me more than communicating, listening to others is an art. It requires patience.In the long run it is one of the main basis for any successful relationship.It is only when we listen to others can we see the situation from their perspective.It allows people to understand the other person better ,understand their point of view and only enriches the relationship.
Learn to appreciate: As human beings we crave for appreciation for any work that we do.However we become misers when it comes to appreciating others for the work done by them. It especially is the case when it comes to appreciating the people close to us who selflessly devote their energies and time to fulfil our requirements.How many of us take out time to say a thank you to our parents or our spouses for the immense contribution and sacrifices they make for our growth. We instead take their actions for granted and fail to appreciate the same. Appreciation of the people around us helps the relationship to thrive and strengthens the basis of our family lives and adds value to the same.
To add balance in our lives it is important to keep our relationship with the people around us happy.It is important to act like a team, set goals on a daily basis and dream together and identify with the thoughts of the other person.If we have strong family ties, the worst of situations and crisis can be dealt with, without much problems for families create a support system which provides a safety cover for individuals.
